New beginnings

well I write this blog in the new location within my home, my room. I have taken a roommate into my house to help alleviate the rent. I didn't realize how much everything is between the rent/utilities and etc etc stuff.
This is a good step for both me an John, he is good folk and we can stand each other for the most part. HAHAHA That is the biggest thing to update right now...I will post again later tonight when I have some free time. :)

Valentine's Day Massacre

You know something, I don't really know what it is that I just happen to do with boys. The only thing I know for sure is that they are stupid and asses!
Once again I find myself alone for Valentine's Day, this shouldn't come to any suprise to me though, but it does. Honestly I DID have a valentine up till about a week or so ago, and then he just happens to fall of the face of the earth. No contact what so ever, No phone call, doesn't work where he used to, and he moved.
I think that I really am supposed to be alone in the journey we call life. There is not going to be much complaining, except the every now an again "Why Me?"

I really wish that I can find that someone out there so I can stop looking. I am so tired of being alone and not able to share things with someone that I love. Maybe I just yearn for love too much, I don't know. I only want something I can't have I guess... A guy that will love me for me, and that I can reciprocate the love right back. I have been through too many relationships where everything is one sided, which makes things even harder to work on. I guess though, that maybe something is better than nothing...No its not... I will not settle again, I made that mistake one too many times and will not repeat this.
I had something for the last two months, then that was raped and taken from me in the blink of an eye. I was only waiting for Valentine's to tell him exactly what I wanted to tell him. I wanted us to just get to know one another on a deeper level, and emotional level. I forgot that isn't what guys want around here. DAMN YOU!!

Holy Freaking Altoid batman!

WOW, its been a long while since I have posted...Shame on me here!!! God I have been neglectful on my blog. NutJob! That is everything I need to say for myself. :O)
Hmmmmmm I should begin by things that have been happing lately eh? I'll start working backwords, cuz If I go the other way then I will lose track of where I was going, like I am now, and then forget what I was talking about.

Actually I will start from the last post. I don't know whether or not my family read that post or not. Hope they did, but prolly not. I just don't know since I really don't hear from them much. Well besides the occasional Forwarded message from my grandma Wallace. That's about it. But that is not here nor there.

Kayz, so I got totally sidetracked by dancing to one of my favorite songs...The bloodbath dance off of Blade...HAHAHA I am so glad there is no camera's around me. :)

Well I did leave my job at Omni cuz it wasn't working out very well there. Most the people are pretty cool there, but some are just plain DouchBags! My biggest problem, well I am not going to get into that, since I really don't feel like it. Lets just say this ....... NEXT ....... LOL

I did get another job at Kohl's though, but it is a REALLY part time job, so today I went over to a place called Orgill and applied there as well. They have a great starting pay as well as good benefits (from what I hear) My Aunt's husband works there and loves it. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will start there. They get weekends off and everything.

Oh Hey! I got's me a new computer to work on and EVEN an office to put it in..YAY for me. An that leads to this...Mom moved out and went up to Wyoming to work, so the place is all mine now... YIPPIE!!!

Now for a stumper, I am in Love! yes I said it, I AM IN LOVE! No not with a stripper. haha With the most wonderful guy that I have ever met...Except I think there is hitch .... I think this might just be another one sided deal for me. I don't really know how to explain it very well, but I will try. Maybe someone out there might be able to help, or even he might read this and let me know. God only knows.
Here is the deal, I feel like I am the one putting most the effort into getting things to work. He asks me to call him, I do. Except his phone is turned off. Leave a message, like a normal person would and ask him to call me back....Nothing...
I haven't even talked with him in several days now. I don't want to sound like a tard and call him everyday. To me that just sounds desperate, which I am not mind you. You know what...I'll let it pass for a day or two to see what happens and if nothing, then I guess its not meant to be. I really like him and I think I might have a hard time letting go. If its for the greater good then so be it though. I don't want to have myself in a situation like I've been in before. I won't tolerate it. Got IT!!!

Anywho that is all that I care to spew up tonight, I promise I'll get better at this an actually move to update at least once a week, hopefully more though

Toodles for now!