Just got back from an outing on Cedar Mountain near where I live and took some, what I think, amazing photos... I will post a few on here, and if you like to see more, please let me know and I will post more.
I am in the midst of job hunting an wanted to take a lunch and write a short one.
YAY! Its kinda nice having all this time on my hands, but sucks at the same time.
I was able to get my little studio set up in my room last night before crashing.
See My Studio
Also on a small foot note, I would like to express my appreciation for the troops out in the world. Thank you all for everything you do to make this country just what it is, America
Its almost time to play. :)
Tonight is my usual Karaoke night down to the eagles.. WOO HOO! Hopefully tonight I'll have a few friends join me there. I haven't a clue yet what I will sing, but damn it at least I will be singing. lol
Today for some reason I happen to be in a great mood. Maybe I slept good, most likely cuz I talked with my best friend Ian last night whilst he was partying. God don't you just love getting drunk calls in the wee hours in the morning. HAHA
I have been thinkin a lot lately and have noticed some interesting things.
I don't know why I am writing about this, but what the hell right. !
I supposedly have quite a few friends, or well supposed friends that are more like aquainances. I write to them and/or comment them, yet I recieve nothing back. I am not going to mention names here or anything, but you know who you all are. Well that and it would take a LOT of room for me to write everyone.
I understand now and then that things happen or you don't get online or whatever. But seriously. Damn!
I am not the best person in the world to keep up either, but I do at least get back to you as soon as I can. I think that I have only left a handful of unanswered messages and comments.
This is not really an attention whore deal or whatever you might be thinking, I am just confused at this.
The same with phone calls and Text messages. There is one person in particular that has me totally baffled by his "inablility" to call, text, message, or comment back to me. I see him sometimes, but then he disappears again for weeks. This can be so very frustrating ya know!
I just like to know that someone, somewhere could be thinking of me at any given point in time. My mind always has someone there that I am thinking of and well when I get to a point to where I can let them know, I do. Its a human thing. People like to know they are special to someone, that someone is thinking of them.
Doesn't this sound like every Utah driver on the road today?
Seeming like they never really did graduate from Drivers Education, some people should really never even be given a drivers license...Hmmmm
Road Rage: Are We Driving Ourselves to Destruction?
Special to 365Gay.com
(ARA) After speeding down the interstate, weaving in and out of traffic, jamming on the breaks, cutting others off and throwing rude gestures at other drivers, you arrive (amazingly!) at your destination. Sure you may have antagonized other motorists in the process and maybe you didn’t obey every single law, but you had good reason, right? It’s a jungle out there, right? Wrong.
Hostility on the road not only affects drivers with feelings of road rage, but also every other driver on the road -- leaving everyone feeling emotionally frustrated and stressed out.
Most Common Road Rage Triggers
* Not reacting soon enough after a light turns green.
* Weaving back and forth between lanes.
* Cutting other drivers off.
* Pulling out in front of someone and then slowing down after doing so.
* Tailgating to pressure other drivers to go faster or get out of the way.
* Trying to beat a yellow light turning red and obstructing a lane of traffic.
* Traveling in the passing lane at a slower rate of speed, making it impossible for others to pass you.
* Not paying attention because you’re on the phone and you’ve made an obscene gesture.
This trend, now referred to as road rage, has taken over the better judgment of many motorists on the highway today. The term "road rage" was officially adopted into the English language in 1997, when the phrase first debuted in the New Words edition of the Oxford English Dictionary.
Originally “road rage” meant one driver’s aggressive reaction to someone else’s driving. Not any longer. Now it includes such circumstances as the Washington, D.C. bicyclist who shot the driver of a car that ran into him, and a couple who threatened a driver with a knife after his BMW ran over their dog. Today the definition of “road rage” does not necessarily require the road or a car. In fact, the American Automobile Association’s Foundation for Traffic Safety reports that there has been a 51 percent increase in violent incidents involving drivers since 1990.
“A great deal of psychological stress comes from the hassles of dealing with other people on the road, and with driving, in general. Drivers get defensive when they are cut off, yelled at, honked at, or boxed in,” says Modesto Jesus Hevia, Psy.D., a professor of psychology at Argosy University/Phoenix.
Hevia adds that “Vigilante behavior on the roadways stems from a variety of sources. Frequently, hostile drivers will presume the personality and the motivations of other drivers on the road from the make or model of their car -- the notion being that aggressive drivers react to the ‘personality’ of a vehicle, and not necessarily the person who is driving it. SUVs, king-cab pickup trucks, sports cars and motorcycles may encourage the road rager who feels they’ve been wronged in some way.”
Outraged drivers have a hard time letting go of their feelings of aggravation, resentment, and revenge. They vent their emotions by complaining, cursing, blocking, or actually chasing fellow motorists. The emissions of anger seem appropriate responses to them at the time, but these actions usually leave the driver feeling emotionally unsatisfied.
Who hasn’t had thoughts that could lead to a road rage reaction? “Maybe I could pass that guy on the right and cut him off before the next exit?” Or, “They’re not going to pass me and, if they do, I will chase them down, get out of my car and show them who is king of the road!” How about “Nobody gives me the finger!”? According to the U.S. Department of Transportation, two-thirds of car accidents in the United States derive from aggressive driving.
Here are a few tips for preventing road rage:
* Don’t get too upset. Give drivers the benefit of the doubt -- that they made a mistake by cutting you off and let it go. Take a deep breath, and when it’s safe to pass, calmly indicate your acknowledgement of what they did. Nobody is perfect. Stay away from irresponsible drivers on the road instead of antagonizing them even more. If another driver’s aggressive behavior is intentional, the best thing to do is avoid eye contact and get out of the way.
* Stay on your guard. Road rage is usually precipitated by a glaring driving error which puts those around you in jeopardy. Simple practices like signaling appropriately when changing lanes or turning can help you avoid road ragers.
* Maintain Distances. It’s not a race. It’s not fun to have someone surgically attached to your bumper, so why attach yours to others? Don’t tailgate and get into the right hand lane if someone is moving at a faster rate of speed than you are.
* Please don’t speed. We’ve all heard the cliché, “Arrive Alive.” Driving fast provides you with no opportunity to react to the fatal flaws of others, to change lanes, make an exit or stop unexpectedly. Obeying the speed limit will more likely lead to less aggressive behavior because of the stress associated with driving at recklessly higher rates of speed.
The best way to avoid becoming a victim of such driving destruction, says Hevia, is to avoid responding in kind to bad behavior. He says the best survival strategy is to stay out of the way as there is no reasoning with someone who is behaving irrationally. It takes two people to initiate the problem of road rage and if there is only one participant in the act, it narrows the possibility of an even more dangerous situation. Don’t allow your driving to become a personal vendetta, or sporting competition that you MUST win at all costs. Because, nine times out of ten, the price will be extremely high. It may even cost you your life.
For more information on Argosy University, call (800) 377-0617 or visit Argosy University at www.argosyu.edu.
So I really am in a deadlock to think of an idea for this... I have many ideas but they are like amoeba's floating around an I can't grasp just one!
So jet some ideas down on the comments and lets get something fun and cool rolling!
Thanks everyone!
so apparently I don't have any readers as of yet and this makes me really sad. But that is ok since I usually don't talk much about anything important. This is really just an online journal for me and those that read, YAY FOR YOU!
I am not that much of a journalist either, I have come to a realization that I just try to type what comes to my mind as I am typing. Fun HUH? hehe I didn't do that well in english so I don't really care if things make sense to others or not.
Can you tell that I am not having the best of days today? :(
Can you see me sitting by the phone all night long waiting for someone to call me?
Can you even see me at all?
I will just give you a quick like update for whats happening lately. I was fired from Costco the other day for tardinesses. Which I think is totally bullshit, but what can I do but bend over and take it. Most of the tardy's are only like 1-4 minutes late. GOD DAMN!!
My roommate has moved out and is on his new journey in life. I have the house basically to myself once again, except for when my mom is down for her 2 week "vacations" from her job in Wyoming. This just makes it easier for both of us when she is down to have an additional spare room for her to crash in.
My relationship is in a Hiatus situation for the time being since I don't have a fucking clue as to what Tye wants. I have laid out everything that I was feeling and I didn't get anything back. I was ubber despressed for sometime after that. Now its been almost a week with out us seeing or talking with each other. When I was in vegas I was told that he also had gone. He told me when I invited him to come along that he couldn't since he was working. But lo and behold, yep, he was there. Did he call me? Nope, So I am very irritated right now at him. I only wanted the best for us but apparently he didn't an was just using me for whatever reason and now I am on the verge or just calling everything quits between us. Even though I love him.
As for all that wonderful shit above I am doing very well and couldn't be any happier with life. So for the night I do bid thee adu and have a wonderful weekend...
Oh yes for those that don't know already, this weekend is Gay Pride in Salt Lake City and is going to be going all weekend so I invite everyone to go. I will not be attending this year for various reasons.
Hugs and kisses to everyone!
Hello again my friends. Yes its been another weekend and boy was it totally UNeventful! LMAO
I spent most of days just working and sleeping. I haven't been feeling so good lately. I think its just the creeping crud or allergies. Nothing serious though, thank god!
This weekend was also lonely. My so called BF hasn't called or talked with me in about 5 days now and its really starting to get on my nerves. I understand that he works two jobs or three now, but seriously, I would still like to know that I am important in his life. I am at the point to were I just want to tell him its over. Yet I don't really want to jump the gun. There has to be a point that you just need to say "enough is enough" I am finally getting to that point.
But oh well enough about that....
I am thinking about doing a sex talk with ME as my blog. What do you think of this? would I have any participants. I want to sort of follow Sue Johanson type of show. Don't know who that is? You should look her up she is on Bravo I think at 10-1030 MST. Everything gets talked about from viewers that call in. This would be really fun. Let me know what you all think and if I start this then I will probably start a new blog just for that. Kay!
Wow, I can't believe what I did yesterday and sabotage prolly one of the best things in my life! Well it was more than one thing, but in any case, I still did it. Why I don't know. Let me elaborate into this more...
Yesterday I was at work and I was joking around with my roommate and giving him some shit that he had spend most the night up with my Boyfriend. They were up till about 4am. I had gone to bed about midnight or so. I texted John and gave him shit that they stayed up for so long and they must have had some intense "conversations" right after that is were I made the mistake of opening my big Sagittarius mouth. I told him that I was upset somewhat because the entire time, in my weird and tired mind state, that they were only making out or getting it on. Yeah that was not a good thing to say or think. I do trust John and I know that he wouldn't have done that. For some reason though my mind was thinking the worst possible things like that. My mind set is my biggest relationship killer. I always assume the worst possible thing, then I start having myself believe myself!
I feel so bad and aweful for even saying anything. What is even worse is what I did to my Boy last night.
We both thought to try to get to bed early last night, since he had to be up really early for meetings at his work and what not.
Well everything was going great and we kissed and yada yada yada. Well we were getting to the point of actually having sex and I froze. Its like I had someone put my mind and body into a freezer. We were both really hot an ready to go then this happened. I told him that I think I might just go ahead and go to sleep. Well he snapped at me and I believe he was really pissed at me so I didn't say anything. I am not very good in arguments and I had already felt so bad for "teasing" him like that then just putting a stop to it.
Its like I am scared to actually have sex or something. This isn't the first time this has happened to me and my partner. In fact its been the downfall of almost all my relationships to date. I want to be able to get to the root and figure out what to do. I just don't know where to start. I have tried to talk with a few friends about this some time ago, an they just tell me its in my mind and I think to much. Well yes that is part of the problem, but what makes my mind kick into that gear that is detrimental to me. I just don't know
It has been almost 3 months since my last post on here. I really need to get back into my old habits, well most of them anyways.
How is everyone doing lately? I hope that all of you are doing well and life is treating you good.
Now back to me! LOL
A little update since I don't really remember my last postings... And I am too damned lazy to look at them. HAHAHA j/k
So lets see here for a second... I did work out to Kohl's and Bestbuy for a few days back a couple months ago. I didn't like them at all, they were just underpaid belittling high schooler's jobs... No offense to anyone though on that.
I am currently working at Costco in St. George. Its a nice place to be. No bad or anything. Just basically the 9-5 job to get the bills paid an what not. I can't complain since I basically just need to go in ON TIME and make it look like I am working, do what the management asks me too and things are golden.
I am still single I guess. I have had this wonderful guy come back into my life after about 3 months or so now. I don't really know what to think about the whole thing. He just disappeared outta my life and I had no clue what happened to him. Then just 3 days ago he shows up on my doorstep while I was at work. My roommate was here and then texted me letting me know he stopped by. I just couldn't get my mind around why now? what does he want? and still i am thinking the same question. I told him exactly how I felt about him and what he put my through over the last few months, but he didn't seem to care that much about that. I guess I am a sucker or something. I just don't know.
Why must guys play with others emotions? I am truly starting to think that people really like to fuck with me for some reason. I can be niave and dumb at times, but then sometimes I can play that role really well too. This is the time where its the first and not the last.
Kind of like my roommate, I know that he is trying to get into his pants and get with him, but I am just like whatever, since I know that Him and Me are not totally together.. I think. That is where I get lost an shit! It sounds like he wants to but actions speak louder than words. I would like for him to at least kiss me when he comes home from work... Instead he just heads straight for the couch an flips on the tv! I really don't want more than for you to acknowledge me before you settle in, damn it. This is one of the few people that I have a hard time reading. Not to toot my horn or anything but I do have a knack for reading people. A lot of people have told me that I should become a counselor or shrink or something along them lines. I just shrug my shoulders at them. :P
I just want to be able to find that one guy that might just love me for me, and not pretend or fuck with me.
Maybe I am just looking to deep here and need to chill the fuck out. Let things happen as they do. I can't change the past nor change the future, but I CAN roll with it. He He He
Anywho, enough bout that.
So my mother is in Wyoming now working for ESS Wammsutter. She seems to be really enjoying it. I miss her though, the fun times we have when she is here. You know, like going to Mesquite and getting all trashed and making fools outta ourselves. LMAO
Oh yes another thing! I have decided that I am a very boring person an not very much personality! I don't know what I just decided to write this, but what the hell. Its what is on the top of my head right now. LOL That an I did say that I was going to try to keep everything in my life going on, on here that is.
This is really exciting for me since I no longer do physical journals, they have a tendency to get burned or lost forever. Happened twice already so this is more stable... That is if I use it more often. LMAO
Well I am off to bed so you all have a great night and a great day tomorrow. I wish everyone the best.
Toodles My Poodles!
well I write this blog in the new location within my home, my room. I have taken a roommate into my house to help alleviate the rent. I didn't realize how much everything is between the rent/utilities and etc etc stuff.
This is a good step for both me an John, he is good folk and we can stand each other for the most part. HAHAHA That is the biggest thing to update right now...I will post again later tonight when I have some free time. :)
You know something, I don't really know what it is that I just happen to do with boys. The only thing I know for sure is that they are stupid and asses!
Once again I find myself alone for Valentine's Day, this shouldn't come to any suprise to me though, but it does. Honestly I DID have a valentine up till about a week or so ago, and then he just happens to fall of the face of the earth. No contact what so ever, No phone call, doesn't work where he used to, and he moved.
I think that I really am supposed to be alone in the journey we call life. There is not going to be much complaining, except the every now an again "Why Me?"
I really wish that I can find that someone out there so I can stop looking. I am so tired of being alone and not able to share things with someone that I love. Maybe I just yearn for love too much, I don't know. I only want something I can't have I guess... A guy that will love me for me, and that I can reciprocate the love right back. I have been through too many relationships where everything is one sided, which makes things even harder to work on. I guess though, that maybe something is better than nothing...No its not... I will not settle again, I made that mistake one too many times and will not repeat this.
I had something for the last two months, then that was raped and taken from me in the blink of an eye. I was only waiting for Valentine's to tell him exactly what I wanted to tell him. I wanted us to just get to know one another on a deeper level, and emotional level. I forgot that isn't what guys want around here. DAMN YOU!!
WOW, its been a long while since I have posted...Shame on me here!!! God I have been neglectful on my blog. NutJob! That is everything I need to say for myself. :O)
Hmmmmmm I should begin by things that have been happing lately eh? I'll start working backwords, cuz If I go the other way then I will lose track of where I was going, like I am now, and then forget what I was talking about.
Actually I will start from the last post. I don't know whether or not my family read that post or not. Hope they did, but prolly not. I just don't know since I really don't hear from them much. Well besides the occasional Forwarded message from my grandma Wallace. That's about it. But that is not here nor there.
Kayz, so I got totally sidetracked by dancing to one of my favorite songs...The bloodbath dance off of Blade...HAHAHA I am so glad there is no camera's around me. :)
Well I did leave my job at Omni cuz it wasn't working out very well there. Most the people are pretty cool there, but some are just plain DouchBags! My biggest problem, well I am not going to get into that, since I really don't feel like it. Lets just say this ....... NEXT ....... LOL
I did get another job at Kohl's though, but it is a REALLY part time job, so today I went over to a place called Orgill and applied there as well. They have a great starting pay as well as good benefits (from what I hear) My Aunt's husband works there and loves it. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will start there. They get weekends off and everything.
Oh Hey! I got's me a new computer to work on and EVEN an office to put it in..YAY for me. An that leads to this...Mom moved out and went up to Wyoming to work, so the place is all mine now... YIPPIE!!!
Now for a stumper, I am in Love! yes I said it, I AM IN LOVE! No not with a stripper. haha With the most wonderful guy that I have ever met...Except I think there is hitch .... I think this might just be another one sided deal for me. I don't really know how to explain it very well, but I will try. Maybe someone out there might be able to help, or even he might read this and let me know. God only knows.
Here is the deal, I feel like I am the one putting most the effort into getting things to work. He asks me to call him, I do. Except his phone is turned off. Leave a message, like a normal person would and ask him to call me back....Nothing...
I haven't even talked with him in several days now. I don't want to sound like a tard and call him everyday. To me that just sounds desperate, which I am not mind you. You know what...I'll let it pass for a day or two to see what happens and if nothing, then I guess its not meant to be. I really like him and I think I might have a hard time letting go. If its for the greater good then so be it though. I don't want to have myself in a situation like I've been in before. I won't tolerate it. Got IT!!!
Anywho that is all that I care to spew up tonight, I promise I'll get better at this an actually move to update at least once a week, hopefully more though
Toodles for now!
So its been a while since I have last posted on here. Well things have been really wishy washy this last week and I don't really know where to start.
One thing I can say for sure is that I really am sick of all the mundane stuff of everyday life. I am tired of just living day to day. I Want More! I am tired of sitting around and waiting for someone to call, or message me. I am tired of trying to write or call them and not get a response. I am just tired! There is nothing more that I can do. I have exhausted myself trying to do everything I wanted to do and only to get nowhere.
Tired Ramblings that never made it from Draft stages...HAHAHA
This post is going to be just for my family members that are afar. I wish that I really could see you guys more often and be able to tell you things like this in person. For the time being though I will have to settle for my blog.
I am very happy where I am at here in Utah and with my life so far. Things can be rough at times, as it is with anyone. You live and learn as I have learned from all of my family. Mistakes are made to be learned from, not to be regretted in the future. This is one thing I can deal with now.
Probably the most important thing that I want you to know about me I will say a little bit later. You should know though that I am very happy with who i am and I don't doubt for a moment of who I am or what I can become. I am proud of my family down here and accepting me for who I am, without any judgment. They love me no matter what. I know you will too. I have become a great man throughout my life and no doubt I will continue to grow and become even better. I felt throughout most my childhood that I was a failure and I was different from others that I knew and grew up with. I now realize that Yes I am different, but I am not a failure.
I am proud of myself. I am Gay, this is not something that I choose, but something i learned about myself over the years. When I was just young I happened to be confused because I didn't know what was different about me. But I knew back towards the beginning of college, I knew that I was gay a long time, but didn't tell anyone. I didn't even tell Mom until I was 23. And since there was a blurb about me during the last time I was there, I needed to just come out to the rest of the the family. I don't want to hide who i really am anymore. I just want to be myself.
I love you all so much. I am still that same Jason that you have always known, except you know a little more about me now. You all wanted to be more a part of my life, so now you can. This is me, no more, no less.
This is the one...The mother load. I will be blogging for the last time from work tonight as a graveyard night auditor. Thank god for the small things. This day could not have come fast enough. To tell the truth though, I was hesitant at even coming in tonight the way my manager has been treating me the last week. She has been a real bitch! I would try to tell her about things that went on during the night, only to get the cold shoulder and be ignored. I though Jesus lady, what the hell is your problem! I am glad that I will not be working here anymore, just as well. They had better pay me for every damn hour that I worked though, especially the OT. If they don't I will be so pissed off. And get this, I have to wait until the 12th of Jan to get my final paycheck. How craptacular is that? I don't mean to just vent like this but I have had enough of hotels all together.
I am really excited to be starting my new Omni job on the 9th of Jan.
Well, since I haven't blogged in a while (almost a full week AHHHH!)I should fill in what's been going on. This is going to be a pretty personal and private blog, at private as the internet can be. LOL
I will start of wish Christmas. Christmas was fun with the family. I spent Xmas eve with my grandparents, my aunts and uncles plus quite a few of my cousins. We played some silly games and we all had some great laughs. My aunt Becky and me just started laughing so hard during one game that we couldn't control ourselves and started laughing more, then crying, then laughing. We had tears running down our cheeks cuz we laughed so hard. The great part, we didn't know what we were laughing at to begin with, which in turn got us going again.
The few days in between Xmas and New Years Eve were just Ho Hum. I didn't do much except work and sleep. Talked with some friends up in SLC and had a good time chatting with them.
Now for the best part of the holidays for me. Remember in a previous post where I mentioned that Santa Claus came early for me. I do believe he really delivered this year. I haven't felt quite like this before and I don't really know how to explain this feeling I am having for him. I know I like him, that is for sure. I believe he likes me too, this I am looked at his body language for. Ever since I have met him, I can not stop thinking about him. I find myself daydreaming almost all the time. I am trying real hard to not rush into anything and be a little hard to get, so that excitement is kept up between us, but I am finding this to be very VERY difficult. I like him that much!
New Years Eve. We had proposed plans to spend the day together IF his other plans fell through. Well his other plans DID fall through. He told me that he didn't want to go and deal with all the drama that all his other friends create. We planned on going to see "The Holiday" and maybe grab a bite, then come back to my place to spend quality time.
I had some problems getting my payroll check cashed over the long weekend and I texted him telling him that I couldn't get into my cash so we might need to reschedule the evening.
BTW I DID NOT WANT TO DO THAT AT ALL! IT WAS NEW YEARS FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!
I hurried to text him back with alternative plans for him to just come over to my place instead to watch "Adam & Steve" and also watch the Dick Clark Rockin' New Years. so he came over about 11ish or so and we just chatted for a bit. I had a nice Cherry Vodka cocktail, I was extremely nervous, while we chatted. Finally the ball dropped and we counted it off. Well I wasn't expecting anything, and then WOW!! He swooped in an kissed me. I was so in shock that I was speechless. I couldn't contain myself and went back and kissed him.
You know when people say they have firework when they kiss someone. Well that happened that night. Fireworks...Lots of them.
I am hoping for the best in this and I really want him to know that I like him. I just need to be a little coy and excite the relationship. :)
Yes anyways, that was my little blab on the holidays for the year and I hope all had a great one as well.
